i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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