well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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