Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
