Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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