I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize