im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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