Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
