it's like iHOP with fire
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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