: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Duck Duck Cougar?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
