The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
