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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (517): View more from Michigan

  Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.

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• (805): View more from California

  Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Whore are you.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Yes.

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower

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• (207): View more from Maine

  She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...

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• (713): View more from Texas

  The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.

  (713): View more from Texas

  Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.

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