so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I have fence marks all over my body
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My vagina just clenched in fear
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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