it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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