Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
