I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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