Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
