I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
