This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
