can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...