I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
no, he came in my armpit
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants