who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
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We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
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I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.