i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
