Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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