Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Randomize
