last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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