where am i from again
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
