So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
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She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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