i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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