her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize