but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize