I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
