Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
