Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize