why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
