to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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