Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This is my gift to your gina
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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