Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize