he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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