Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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