well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
