I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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