Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
