does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I am naked and annoyed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
