I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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