the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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