So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
