you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
