nut hugger
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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