What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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