At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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