My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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