I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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