...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
