Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
