Don't you send me to vm
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
