This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
