I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
