whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
jump out the window naked night went bad
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