they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
