sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
