is your mom at the bar?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
