if you like me you must not know who I am
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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